this song is soo appropriate

oh baby, baby please 

i feel an urgent need to apologize.

i did a terrible thing in a terrible dream

and now i can't look you in the eye.

it started:

we were out on a date, and you turned and said "i gotta tell you something odd.

i know i said we'd get married, but i'm already married,"

and that's when you laughed so hard.

so i turned and swung,

i woke in a shock,

nails digging blood from the base of my palms.

its just that people are so fickle,

they fall in love at different angles,

and really i could lose you just as quickly as i've gotten you.

and that's the kind of thought that makes me nervous,

i'm worried if you'll really think i'm worth it

when the rush wears off and you're left with this busted person.

but if you tell me you will, i will do what i can to believe it.

so baby,

all these things that i've seen last night while asleep,

this morning they're messing with me,

and now i'm anxious as hell and looking for help;

something pleasant and painless,

some story to tell

with a through-line of calm that can stop me from being myself.

'cause all i think is how i want to be your fever

just to know i make you heated,

'cause i worry you might see me more like a blanket 

whose there for comfort and for cover

from the glare of former lovers,

all that passion that kissed you and bit you til you were devoured,

and i'd like to get better cause thinking like this is torture.

and if i can't stop it you'll get sick of bearing crosses,

and you'll jump to cut your losses.

you'll go get quarantined somewhere far from me

where it's much less dangerous.

but maybe if i wake up and quit dreaming

i can shake the shit i'm fearing

and maybe i can feel like i'm freaking out for no good reason.

i'll tell you what:

if there's a line i can cross, once i get there i'm not ever leaving. 

on a lighter note, i thought today was so awesome. me, joey, lj, and morgan went to trader joe's and got the ingredients for the best breakfast feast ever (which cost a fantastic 20$ total). we made whole wheat pancakes with raspberries, bananas, walnuts, and cinnamon and egg sandwiches with asiago cheese, chicken sausage, and these flawless whole wheat roll things. it was seriously the best breakfast i've ever eaten, and it was fun making it. i broke the no cheese rule but it was so worth it. 

:)